Manic writer

Are you a manic writer?

This isn’t to condemn or poke fun at someone that suffers with manic episodes.  As I encounter my own struggles with depression and anxiety I find that up and down is a perfect way to describe my life.  A roller coaster that kicks me off and pulls me back on with no direction or routine.

I go through these phases where I’m so enthused at the idea of writing. I take on any writing job that comes my way and happily punch away at my keyboard enticing readers in.

Then there’s these phases where the mere idea of writing causes my brain to freeze, and all creativity is sucked out on the dark horse it rode in on.

Since I was a little girl I loved to write.

I wrote my first book about an ostrich when I was maybe 8.

Writing is my outlet. But then there’s these phases where life is too crazy. My brain is too foggy that I can’t seem to find the energy to write anything but my reminders on a sticky note.

I’m simply a manic writer. Up and down. No in between.

Any project I take on I dive in.

All in.

It’s all or nothing. Then it seems a few weeks pass and I’m onto the next. But I always come back to writing.

And when I do. I’m reminded of how great it feels to jot down some thoughts.

Happy Wednesday.

Danielle

 

Demise of Social Media

I’ve found that I have zero interest in social media.

Deleting apps off my phone has given me a newfound peace. More focus on things I enjoy.

I don’t care to see the latest selfie. The latest look what I’m doing. Or worse shame post.

I noticed I lost interest in social media when it became more about how shitty can I make someone else feel by posting the latest asinine comments. And how many more booty shots can we all see. Just because you display your body on Instagram it doesn’t make you a model.

I have friends on social media I adore. When I do take the time to go on Facebook or Instagram it’s to like people’s posts I genuinely like. To catch up on friends and family.

I think what started as a way to share with friends and family quickly turned into something else.

The demise of social media started with politics. Then shaming. Everyone seems to be a warrior behind their keyboards.

I see it on local groups. Acquaintances posts.

Political differences ravaging friendships and families.

In a world so easily offended social media is like pouring salt on a wound.

I feel like I’ve grown out of posting. What I used to enjoy I’ve started to loathe.

I’d rather have a friend or family member text me photos of their lives. I enjoy blogging there is so much more behind a photo. A story to share. A feeling to discuss.

So I still have my social media accounts. Until I find the time to print my beloved photos I’ve shared. Then I will delete it for good.

But I’ve taken a stance against WCW, MCM, social media has become the latest joke.

I started noticing moms posting some seriously staged photos. No one cooks with their kids in their kitchens while getting the perfect photo. That’s just not reality.

When I bake with my kids. There is usually a massive mess, sometimes arguing, and I’m never dressed in matching clothes with a fake smile on my face while doing it. That’s not reality. Yet millions of people flock to these posts. Trying to replicate this false idea of perfection.

Happiness isn’t created online with random strangers liking posts that aren’t reality.

Life is meant to be lived.

Taking a social media break has really given me a different perspective.

Freed up a lot of time.

Time for me to continue writing my own books. Time to enjoy and sometimes struggle with the demands of life. Just because their isn’t a post it doesn’t mean someone isn’t living their best life. Odds are they are living a better life than those plastered with a fake smile.

I wonder if people started living their lives instead of posting about it. Would society be happier?

If you have been feeling that you’ve outgrown social media maybe it’s time to take a break.

Live your life. Who cares who knows about it.

Danielle

Suffocation

Have you ever had a dream where you are suffocating?

Only to wake gasping for air. Realizing you have been holding your breath in your sleep?

That’s how depression and anxiety feel for me.

Like I’m suffocating. Those around me stealing my breath. Until there’s no breath left and I’m left to either scream or claw my way out. Demanding my own breath back.

Depression and anxiety are ugly. But with my depression and anxiety comes a compassion and a need to help others. It’s a slippery slope and one I’m working on boundaries with.

The more I give of myself the less I have left of me.

When you are sliding down the black of hole depression what helps pull you back to the surface?

Is it friendship? A spouse? An addiction?

I have a depression toolbox that I use. No one thing works each time.

For me first accepting that this is how I feel in this moment is where I start.

Then I start grabbing shit from toolbox maybe its a joint, a bible verse, an essential oil. Maybe it’s running in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it’s crying for a solid hour before I get my life back together and move on.

Depression is tricky. And I used to mask it with a prescription medication. But all it did was prolong the suffering.

Now I give it to God. I use my toolkit. I allow myself to feel this way because it’s a valid feeling. Depression and anxiety will suffocate you if you allow them to. It’s a daily struggle.

One that can’t be cured with a tiny little pill. I don’t know that there truly is a cure. I think as time goes on at least for me I have learned to acknowledge my feelings. Allow myself to be depressed over a certain situation. But not for long. Then I move on.

Depression doesn’t define me. It’s just a piece to my life, and small hiccup in my makeup. Life has humbled me, but it’s also broken my heart so many times that it makes sense that I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Do you find that your depression comes and goes? Is it a daily struggle?

Fuera

My incredibly intelligent brother is owner of an app called Fuera.

As my new fix yourself mission I decided to incorporate running into my routine.

I’ve always been a weight lifting yoga kind of girl but needed a change. I’ve always hated running. And give up pretty easily.

But today I sucked it up. Put on my big girl running shoes and headed out to the desert for a trail run using Fuera.

What is Fuera?

In simple terms it’s a running app. But in reality it’s got some pretty awesome features and simple terms doesn’t do it justice.

Creating a running community for all stages of your running journey.

I’ll go ahead and categorize myself as an extreme beginner, pulls over to die about 5 times. Possibly dry heaves then moves on.

So if and when I’m ready to find others that have similar paces. I’ll be scouting Fuera first.

But it tracks your pace and distance with such ease and no annoying notifications during your run.

It allows you to create a run and invite your friends.

Fuera costs $0 to download. For the frugal such as myself.

It adds an accountability and a reward at least for me. Being able to see my pace and distance at the end gives me motivation for my next run.

You should download it and you should spread the word just saying. My little brothers biggest fan here.

https://fuera.io

When I was ankle deep in loose desert sand sucking wind hard I felt my body actually coming alive. Despite the feeling that my lungs were going to start bleeding at any given moment. I ran on. And walked some. I spent a solid 15 minutes dry heaving. I’m not a morning person and I’m not a runner naturally.

It’s been a long time since I’ve headed out into natures beauty and just ran.

The thing about running is all my struggles are temporarily gone.

With each step I felt a feeling of empowerment. Surrounded by the beauty of the sierra mountains and high desert I finally felt alive again.

The numb feeling that depression brings for me was momentarily gone.

Fuera kept me on track. Gave me motivation to keep running. I told myself I wouldn’t check my pace until I was finished.

I’m not a runner. I’ll have to train hard to become one. But I just love Fuera, the running community it brings and the accountability it gives me.

If you are looking for a user friendly running app I’d encourage you to download Fuera. Plan a run with some friends or even just hold yourself accountable to a new healthy lifestyle.

Danielle

How I published an ebook in 36 hours

I’ve written a lot of things for a lot of different people. The pay has varied from mediocre to great.

But I’ve grown complacent with writing for other people.

But I was frozen not sure how to start writing my own ebooks. Unsure if I possessed the skills.

But then I got to thinking. And everything I’ve written has given me the experience and understanding to create my own books. My own articles for sale. The only difference is now my name is on it. Instead of someone else.

Not everyone possesses the creative ability to write for themselves. And so at any given point you can find someone in need of a creative writer. Editor. The writing jobs are truly endless.

What is holding you back from writing?

I know for me it was an uncomfortable leap. Did I want my name on things I’d written or did I want to allow someone else to use my work under their name for a set fee.

Sure it was a great way to make extra money. It gave me different writing opportunities to hone in on different writing and editing skills.

But for me it was the easy way I didn’t have to be accountable for what I wrote really because no one knew who I was. I was paid and some other go getter was using their name on my work to create income.

That’s when I decided to sit down and write my own ebook with my own name.

Was it hard?

Honestly no. The hardest part was setting my perfectionism aside and diving in.

I set aside time each day and night and just started writing. And editing. And writing some more.

Amazon makes it incredibly easy even for the most inexperienced to format an ebook.

Word from the semi wise. Don’t bother using Microsoft word and you don’t need page numbers. My first mistakes.

Maybe 3 people buy my book. Maybe one day 300 people buy my book. Who knows but I did it!

It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought.

If you are on the fence about publishing your first ebook try it. It isn’t complicated.

And it feels really great.

Danielle

Official Autism diagnosis: Yes or No?

An hour and a half into our lesson I realized I had lost EBE.  His attention span was non existent, no matter what idea I tried to teach him he was gone.  Unfocused.  What we call zoned out in our house.  Even after my failed attempt at a bath to increase focus.  Pinterest fail one of my biggest pet peeves.

I know it was a lot for him having a new routine this last week, but I wish there was a way I could help him.  I’ve tried some calm down sensory strategies, tactile play in the sand table usually seems to do the trick.  But he’s emotional too.  Simply he’s on sensory overload.  He took paper and rubbed it across his lips so hard that he now as a lip full of paper cuts which today are a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Anyways.  Lately I’ve been thinking wondering would he benefit from a true diagnosis of Autism.  His sister has one.  His occupational therapist without “officially diagnosing” him saw Autism displayed in both our children.

The thing is I never want to hinder him.  Or Miss H.

I’m not afraid of him getting a diagnosis although somehow I always feel like he knows it’s assessment time so he pulls himself together and nails their checklists.  Then I just appear insane.  Which is totally fine.

I just want him to succeed.

So I pose the question to parents of kids with Autism, or even those with Autism themselves.  Are you happier knowing there is a name for how you feel.  Or do you wish you hadn’t received the diagnosis?

Evan was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder.  Heidi with “Severe Autism Spectrum Disorder, and Globally Developmentally Delayed” an obnoxious mouth full for a little girl who spoke late.

Anyways I’d love if you would ask, or share this post or pose those questions.

I have my own mixed emotions about Miss H’s diagnosis, and some of the poor practices of those in the medical field as well as therapy vendors.

We do practice our own occupational therapy in home each day.  Which I feel like has really benefited the kids.

Anyways eventually I’ll come to a decision on having him assessed again.  Until then we will push through this phase and I’ll complain to my girlfriends and problem solve ideas on how to help them through this phase.

Thank God for good friends.

Happy Friday!

From our fields to your family

Let me share with you how I became a Young Living Essential Oils Distributor.

I’ve been a closet oiler for years.

Not sure if that’s even a term.

I’ve used oils since my first son was born.  My generous mother in law and mom have always both provided me with the oils I need for each stage of my life.  From both Doterra and Young Living.  I’ve used oils for serious baby constipation, I’ve used oils for anxiety and depression.  I make a special potion for the animals when they get injured.  The list of benefits we see daily by using Young Living Essential Oils is pretty significant.

My mama decided to gift me with signing me up as a distributor for Young Living.  You see I actually use both Young Living and Doterra oils.  I know the horror!

But I truly believe in oils and so as long as the oils are pure I won’t discriminate.

I however just adore so much about Young Living.  When I received my starter kit in the mail I was beyond thrilled.

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I’ll be completely transparent.  The idea of making a little side money is nice.  I love staying home with my kids but it’s nice to get a little extra money here and there selling something I truly believe in.  Not to mention by becoming a distributor you are able to use the Young Living Essential Oils and products at a much more affordable price.

Both my kids fall onto the Autism spectrum.  We face some sensory challenges on a day to day basis.  I will never claim to say that essential oils cure behaviors associated with the spectrum.  But I will say combined with diet and exercise I do notice a lot of positive changes.

Not to mention how clean and healthy my house feels.  I ditched the chemical cleaners once I had kids  and started making my own using essential oils and other household products.

I’m not really good at selling products though.  I never want to be that friend blowing up your feed with more obnoxious sales posts.  But I do hope as I embark on this journey with Young Living that I’m able to encourage others that there is healing in oils and hopefully they fall in love with Young Living like I did.

Stick around for different potions and ideas we cook up using Young Living Essential Oils on our homestead.

If you ever have any questions please send me an email or leave a comment.

americanhomesteadco@gmail.com

Danielle