I’ve been feeling defeated today. I could feel my depression seeping in like an ugly black hole. I won’t share every hardship of my day. But just when I felt like I couldn’t take anymore that life had to throw at me today I started to see the 7 beautifully clear messages from God. I just wasn’t listening at first. And there at my lowest point my eyes were opened.

A bible verse to start my morning off. (That initially if I’m being honest irritated me because of my self loathing depressive morning mood)

Sibling love.

A phone call I’ve been needing.




And this little love note in the stormy skies from the greatest artist around.

God is always around. Do you see the heart? God has a way of leaving me these little heart shaped loved notes in all places of my life.

Meet my pride and joy a hen covered in heart shapes.

He knows what we can handle.

He knows what we need.

And he will forever be my favorite artist of all time.

God is good.

Religion is sometimes misguided. Today I received the bitter slap that religion can offer.

I need to remember to keep faith on days that life is truly unbearable.

And remember that a faith in God doesn’t mean a belief in religion.

God strategically places people in your lives for a reason. The good and the bad.


Law Enforcement Spouses

Being a wife of a police officer isn’t always the most attractive.

I am building a thin blue line for my bestie. And as I’ve been building it I’ve been thinking of all that encompasses being a spouse of someone in law enforcement.

It can be lonely. For even the biggest loners.

It’s frustrating. Maybe your day was mundane and you just want to chat. But your spouse isn’t in the mood for chatting because he’s on overload and wants to veg after a day of endless chatter and demands on the radio. Or the opposite and he has so many stories to tell that you didn’t want to interrupt with your own stories of the day.

Holidays are rarely enjoyed together on the ACTUAL holiday. Law enforcement doesn’t get the privilege of being closed for the holidays. Shockingly criminals commit crimes daily. (Catch my sarcasm)

Most good cops are Type A personality and can be pushy by nature. It’s a dog eat dog world for law enforcement they need to be tough unwavering in their decisions. With that comes the need for an equally tough unwavering spouse.

The OT money is just too good. It’s easy to make purchases with cash when there is an endless supply of OT.

Some people will hate you merely because your spouse is in law enforcement. That’s the world we live in. (If you are anti law enforcement please don’t bother commenting. I will not be approving or even entertaining hate speech)

Officers come home with 1 million different germs on their uniforms.

With that, they bring home a lot of viruses. They are after all in some of the most disgusting places with some pretty disgusting people.

They do in fact get injured on the job. That’s the nature of the game when you deal with bad people.

They might in fact kill someone in their career.

They may see one or multiple people die. They will see dead bodies regularly.

A phone call in the middle of the night when your spouse works night shift can cause you to lose at least 5 years off your life.

You need to be careful what you share on social media. There’s some sick fucks out there that seek revenge on their arresting officers.

Not everyday is some mystifying murder thriller story.

They will get hit on. Who doesn’t love a man in a uniform.

Being a wife of someone in law enforcement definitely isn’t for the faint of heart.

But I cherish all my friendships with my fellow law enforcement wife’s.

I am so proud to be married to my officer. It hasn’t been an easy experience. He has had many big injuries from being a damn good cop. Yet he still packs on his gear and races toward the scary shit most people don’t even know exists.

Is it worth it? Definitely. What a privilege to be married to someone fighting the evil in this world and also helping those in need.

People don’t only call the police for bad people.

The pays basic, it doesn’t cover nearly enough of the shit they endure. The hours totally suck. And it’s hard to raise a family and find time to be a couple.

But it’s a calling.

And I’m proud of this piece of law enforcement that encompasses my husband.

And grateful for the law enforcement family we’ve gained along the way. 💙

Beauty of Autism

There’s a side of Autism you don’t hear people talk about.

There is a profoundly beautiful aspect to Autism that I’m always amazed by.

My oldest poses the most soul provoking questions.

My youngest has a heart for people and animals that can bring tears to your eyes.

I’ve always said that Autism isn’t a disability. Disability doesn’t begin to describe the beautiful side to Autism.

Both my children are so in tune with their souls. Truly.

I’ve called my kids earth angels since I found out their “quirks” were on the Autism checklist.

Sometimes I wonder if Autism is the universes way of bringing a new change to this world.

I’ve never met one autistic person that doesn’t have a truly kind heart. And anyone would agree humanity is indeed in need of more soulful truly good people.

I hate that the medical community has put such an emphasis on the challenging side to autism.

So now parents are forever examining their young kids for the dreaded list of things to watch for.

Instead of seeing what a gift it can be.

Both my kids have their own gifts. (And struggles) but steer them in the direction of something they have interest in and they will shock you with their focus, their desire to learn.

Have you noticed most places you go to customer service sucks and most checkers are being replaced with machines. More and more people spend more time socializing on the web than they do with people daily. The need for socialization is changing. More and more children are being diagnosed with autism. But what if you looked into the future. There will be no need for much social interaction if things continue as they are.

Socialization is changing.

So whose to say those with autism aren’t just souls ahead of their time paving the way towards our future?

One day my autistic children will grow into autistic adults and gift this world with their unique abilities and kind souls.