Suffocation

Have you ever had a dream where you are suffocating?

Only to wake gasping for air. Realizing you have been holding your breath in your sleep?

That’s how depression and anxiety feel for me.

Like I’m suffocating. Those around me stealing my breath. Until there’s no breath left and I’m left to either scream or claw my way out. Demanding my own breath back.

Depression and anxiety are ugly. But with my depression and anxiety comes a compassion and a need to help others. It’s a slippery slope and one I’m working on boundaries with.

The more I give of myself the less I have left of me.

When you are sliding down the black of hole depression what helps pull you back to the surface?

Is it friendship? A spouse? An addiction?

I have a depression toolbox that I use. No one thing works each time.

For me first accepting that this is how I feel in this moment is where I start.

Then I start grabbing shit from toolbox maybe its a joint, a bible verse, an essential oil. Maybe it’s running in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it’s crying for a solid hour before I get my life back together and move on.

Depression is tricky. And I used to mask it with a prescription medication. But all it did was prolong the suffering.

Now I give it to God. I use my toolkit. I allow myself to feel this way because it’s a valid feeling. Depression and anxiety will suffocate you if you allow them to. It’s a daily struggle.

One that can’t be cured with a tiny little pill. I don’t know that there truly is a cure. I think as time goes on at least for me I have learned to acknowledge my feelings. Allow myself to be depressed over a certain situation. But not for long. Then I move on.

Depression doesn’t define me. It’s just a piece to my life, and small hiccup in my makeup. Life has humbled me, but it’s also broken my heart so many times that it makes sense that I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Do you find that your depression comes and goes? Is it a daily struggle?

Sensory Processing Disorder

I have some obsessive behaviors and so does my husband. Both my kids have obsessive behaviors as well but I’d say EBE’s obsessions are harder for me to understand. Therefore making it harder for me to help him through it.

He was officially diagnosed with sensory processing disorder at age 3. He was delayed in his fine motor skills, and highly sensitive. He goes mute randomly and can’t speak. I suspect anxiety. He picks at his body obsessively. Causing his lips and toes to bleed.

As he’s grown older he’s grown out of most of his fine motor hiccups, but his obsessive behaviors have become much more noticeable the older he gets.

He has a high level of anxiety always. But it’s made worse by any disruption in his routine. And it can take weeks to get back to normal.

A tantrum will turn meltdown easily somedays for him and there’s no reasoning with a meltdown.

And today is already one of those days. I hate these days because I don’t really know how to help him. I incorporate sensory activities and use our therapy swing. But it’s almost like his mind gets stuck on obsessing over different things. Some days are harder than others.

So I wonder and pose the question to those with sensory processing disorder can you explain maybe a side of the obsessions that I’m missing? Maybe offer advice on strategies you use to work through those challenging times.

I try to read whatever I can on SPD, but it’s still hard for me to grasp how exactly it feels.

If I were to create a questionnaire would you be willing to answer some questions I have about SPD and share your personal experience?

I’m just a mom trying to gain more knowledge. And would appreciate it.

Danielle

From Slug to Motivated -A moms simple tips to get moving and motivated for the day

Some days I wake up so tired and have a hard time getting moving.  This isn’t just I didn’t sleep well tired, it’s I’m so life tired that the task of even getting up to brush my teeth seems impossible.

But then the mom guilt kicks in and I get up.  Stumbling my way through the next 3 to 4 hours hoping something I eat or drink will get me moving.

But awhile back I woke up sick of this feeling of constant exhaustion.

So I decided to take note.  And make some changes to the start of my day.  After all the only person that can truly change this is me.  Don’t look to your husband to make you happy or just your kids.  I wonder if you jotted down what makes you happy did you include yourself?  I know it didn’t even cross my mind.

I gave myself 1 minute to write down things that have been stressing me out.

  • money
  • student loans
  • keeping the house clean
  • procrastinating on shit I don’t want to do
  • Needing a new car
  • missing out on my purpose in life even though I don’t know what the hell it is supposed to be.

Then I prayed about each one.  And continued to throughout the day.  It’s a way for me to let go and just let someone else take my worries for a while.

Then I jotted down the things that make me happy

  • the kids, and MJE (as long as we aren’t stressed to the max over bullet number 1)
  • my family
  • the farm of animals we have
  • building wooden things
  • being outside
  • and my girlfriends.  Without them I’d be lonely and I enjoy our daily chatter, MJE wouldn’t care to here about the latest and greatest on the group text chat.  We may only get together once a year or never at all.  Group text-the modern day penpal. But I love having a little circle that gets lifes ups and downs with you.

Anyways, I prayed over all these things that make me happy in my life.

Then I made myself move.  But I started with a quick little jot of things that need to be done and things I would like to accomplish for the day.

Then I mixed up the following potion in the diffuser:

5 drops Peppermint

5 drops tangerine

3 drops valor

3 drops frankincense

I take a powergize supplement twice a day from Young Living.  SO far I’m really liking it.  One odd thing I feel like I get from it is a heat to my body but it gets me moving so no complaints.

Then I spend 30 minutes to an hour cleaning and tidying.  (I give myself a little room to cut it short or prolong the cleaning because I have some OCD tendencies)

In my schedule I include an entire hour and a half to do what I want in the afternoon after school.  The kids are to the age now where I can stick them in front of tv or give them some books so that I can have an hour and a half to recharge.  (It won’t kill them to be in their rooms quietly for an hour and a half something I have to keep reminding myself of)

I include yoga on my schedule..  Daily.  Our bedroom has become my yoga sanctuary.

I started small on the first day from slug to motivated.  And with each passing day I’ve felt more relaxed, more motivated.  It’s not an overnight cure, but a daily challenge.  Not to mention my house is much cleaner with my designated cleaning in the mornings.  Less clutter, more cleanliness instantly helps ease my anxiety.

I think challenging ourselves daily is really the only way we can grow.

I think moms get lost sometimes.  I think we lose ourselves in pleasing our families catering to demands from all different angles.

I know I’ve forgotten about myself lately.

My list will be different from yours of course, but if you are feeling sluggish, hard to get motivated maybe you will find comfort in not being alone.  Maybe a few things I try daily will help you combat the morning slug!

Thanks for reading!

YL Natural sponge cleaner

Yeah it’s actually Friday night and I’m writing down my latest thoughts on my favorite natural sponge cleaner.  What has my life come to?

But it’s about the only time in the day I have a few moments for free thought.  As I write this Lucile Ball is batting at the keys with her tiny kitty paws.  If it’s not kids it’s an animal.

It’s no secret I’m frugal.  I’m not one to have a lot of possessions.  And I try to use products I truly believe in.  I use a variety of cleaners but for sanitizing my sponge I use this every single time.  My sponges last longer because I’m not likely to throw them out in a few days.

I hate the thought of what can lurk on a sponge.  Mine was looking a little funky today.

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A quick google search may freak you out enough to sanitize your dish sponge.

I have some serious smell aversions, and a stinky sponge is something that I just can’t have.

Here’s my recipe!

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YL Natural sponge cleaner 4 ingredients

  • Fill a bowl with water and submerge your sponge.
  • 5 drops Purification Young Living Essential oil
  • 5 drops Lemon Young Living Essential Oil
  • 2 drop Melaluca Young Living Essential Oil

Directions:

Microwave on high for 1 minute.  That’s it!

There are quite a few different oils that are great for cleaning, but these three together allow my OCD to relax on what could be lurking in the sponge.

If you give it a try please share your thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

If you ever have an interest in essential oils, come take a look at all Young Living has to offer.  I’ve always loved oils, but felt like I couldn’t afford them until my mama so sweetly signed me up to distribute them.  It’s a nice little way to make some extra money doing something I truly believe in.

Danielle

 

Autism & Sleep

Most parents I know have had their child go through phases with sleep struggles.

But not to the extent for us Autism parents.

Sleep is elusive.  My son didn’t start sleeping regularly through the night until he hit five and a half.  Even still we have nights with serious struggles.

It was a source of my depression for quite some time.

I was exhausted.  I mean hadn’t really slept well in 5.5 years exhausted.

Lack of sleep causes behavioral struggles in not only the kids but also in the parents as well.

I’d be lying if I said my kids slept perfectly, but I actually sleep more nights than not now, which is the greatest blessing.

It’s crazy how lack of sleep can truly start destroying your body.  I had shingles at 28 years old.  Then again at 30.  My immune system was so weak and depleted from lack of sleep, but we had tried everything.

To be honest I think as EBE has grown he has started to sleep better.  But two things that are an absolute must each night in order for us to get sleep are Tired Teddies and diffusing my beloved sleep potion.

Sleep Potion

10 drops copaiba essential oils

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5 drops lavender

7 drops cedarwood

Tired Teddies are amazing.  I know some parents disagree with the use of a sleep aid, but after years and years of some truly insane nights I gave in and decided to give Tired Teddies a go.

tired teddies

I absolutely love them.  And as parents we regularly take them for sleep as well.  (Just FYI I have no affiliation with the makers of Tired Teddies this is a genuine post from my own personal experiences)

I love that they don’t give you that sleeping pill hangover.

They have a small dose of melatonin as well as chamomile.  They don’t cause night terrors whereas we had that issue with other brands of melatonin.

I truly would suggest these to anyone struggling with sleep.  A gentle sleep aid by a company that I support.

I know having anxiety my sleep can get pretty odd on it’s own.  These are just two things out of an entire tool box we use to combat sleep issues associated with Autism and anxiety.

If you are having trouble sleeping maybe you would find some solace in this post from a previously exhausted mama.

If you have an interest in trying out some oils by Young Living, or would like to sign up to distribute your own essential oils follow the link

Authentically,

Danielle

Autism and tummy issues

Most people don’t like to discuss poop, but once I became a mom poop talk seems to be part of my regular conversation.

So let’s dive in.

Since both my kids were infants they’ve always struggled with going to the bathroom.  Miss H struggles more as she’s gotten older.  Going poop can result in screaming, lots of tears, and tummy aches.

Since EBE was an infant I’ve used different oil potions to try to ease his discomforts, and as the years have gone on I’ve found something that truly helps alleviate the struggles they have with going poop.

I could explain what sensory challenges cause this, but it may bore you.  If you are a parent or even an adult struggling with tummy issues rather than reaching for an over the counter medication, you should give Young Living Essential oils a try.

Tummygize is a savior in my house.  We have way less tears, going to the bathroom isn’t physically painful anymore.

Miss H grabs tummygize rolls it around on her stomach and moments later she has gone to the bathroom comfortably.

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Both my kids are extremely sensitive to smells, and I love that Tummygize has a mild scent that goes unnoticed by both.

I know poop talk isn’t the most glamorous, but it’s a reality a lot of us parents with kids on the spectrum face.

If you give it a try let me know your thoughts!

Danielle